One of the things I've always wished for is to stay away from home atleast for sometime, either for studies or for work. I feel its a learning experience all by itself. Had never got a chance until now. Also when its happening now, I am going through a sort of mixed emotion. I guess its natural too..
I shall be moving to Chennai (hopefully only for a few months) in less than 10 days, for a new job. It was totally unexpected and one of the rarest occurrences where I've been lucky. :) I was born and brought up in Bangalore and I simply LOVE the city. I agree it has its flaws, but nothing till now has been able to change my love for the city. My friends tell me its probably because I haven't seen many places. But I don't agree. I think its because I am too attached to this place. Having been here for 20+ years, nothing but Bangalore can be home to me. The thought of having to live away from here and live in a city to which I am a stranger is a scary and saddening.. :(
The sadness of having to stay away from parents at the time that they actually need their children around cannot be expressed in words. The only thing that I tell them and myself in consolation is that they'll be grandparents few months down the line and that they'll have so much fun with their granddaughter/grandson that they'll not even remember me.. :P Seeing my mom's sad and dad's tired face brings tears to me. But I can only hope that staying away for sometime may make, me love them and they love me more... :D
Accompanied with it is a feeling of loss, to be leaving the current workplace, which is probably the best and safest to be in, both in terms of learning and the people. The kind of friendly and lovable people I've met here are probably hard to find in the corporate world. I hadn't felt much when having to leave college, quite unlike others. The sadness I am feeling, for having to leave this workplace is almost the same as what I had felt when leaving school... :(
There's some excitement and happiness too.. :) Happiness, that an unexpected wish came true.. Excitement of having to go and live, work and cope with everything myself. A sense of independence and responsibility which feels great. :)
Also is the fear of whether I'll be accepted in the new place, whether I'll be good at the new work, whether I'll find true friends as good as the old ones... All these feeling leave me drained. I hope things go through smoothly and I do my best. I know its just a few hours journey to home. It'll be a thing to look forward to. :)
You must be wondering what's the relation between the title of the post and the post itself. Its just that I'm feeling like it is the transition from winter to spring, where the tree sheds all its leaves and slowly in some days the new ones start to spring out. I probably need to shed or leave behind the old things and start afresh and blossom in a new place... :)